Another dismal week. I’m getting pretty tired of these types of weeks, but I know it’s my own fault. I’m probably at the lowest point I’ve been at in terms of my running and general fitness. It’s truly amazing how I’ve pretty much spiraled out of control this spring. It’s been a pretty rough year in this department. I the think the best comparison I can come up with is that I’ve truly sunken to the bottom of a barrel. However, right now, I don’t have the want to crawl out, even at a slow pace. I’m getting pretty comfortable down there and truly until I feel the spark to push myself out, I don’t think there is anything I can do.
There has to be something at some point that lights a fire under my ass, right? You’d think it would be me at least acknowledging how bad I’ve gotten, but so far, no light. And I know I’ve been in this position before and until I feel that spark, nothing really happens. I keep thinking about my Fall schedule and it’s hard to even think that far ahead when I don’t even want to do the races I have now. The past 3 half marathons that I have done certainly weren’t great and nothing to be proud of, which doesn’t help the morale. Certainly seeing those finishes doesn’t help me feel good about trying to get out of this overall funk.
The fun non-running highlight of the week though was that I got to go to the Pirates home opener on Friday! Of course it was crazy cold and snowing at points, but it was a lot of fun! I got invited by my new company’s CFO and members of his team and really enjoyed my time with them. The seats were closer than I would have picked myself, but I did survive. At one point a ball did come flying over and bounced right behind me. All I did was a quick duck and cover in my seat and my hands over my head. It was a fun way to spend a Friday afternoon though and glad to say I survived sitting so close to the field!
Tuesday: 2.1 miles, 28:04, 11:29/mile
Saturday: 8.2 miles, 1:34:45, 11:34/mile
Total Miles: 10.3 miles
My runs this week weren’t amazing, but they were miles. I certainly did better than I thought I would during Saturday’s long run. Since both of my half marathons the past 2 weekends were horrible, I didn’t think I’d do much over the 8 miles. I also was dealing with some crazy stomach issues. I did the first 5 miles with the group and ended up finishing up on my own since I stopped off at the Westin for a bathroom break. It was amazing my mental difference in those first miles and the last miles though. There were a lot of times that I just wanted to give up on those last miles home and just kept being so negative about my run. When in fact, they were 3 of my 4 fastest miles all day. Truly amazing that without even just the physical support of people being along side me running, what a turn I took on mentally beating myself up.
I know a lot of this work I need to do is on my own, but if you have any suggestions on how I can climb out and stop crushing myself, I’m all ears. Maybe a new idea can help me. I’m probably pretty blind to most things right now, so maybe a new perspective is what I need.