Sometimes you just have to step away from things. This past month, I had to do that with the blog. There was a lot behind stepping back, but generally speaking, I just wasn’t in a great place mentally. This year has hit me hard in so many ways and I just have felt kicked in the gut week after week. The worst part about this though is I have been in a downward spiral of depression as well.
While I have completed 3 races in the past 2 months, I wasn’t doing much running until the first week or so in July. It wasn’t just the lack of running, it seemed to be everything hitting me at the same time. The boot I had to wear for just over 2 weeks certainly did not help how I was doing.
I certainly don’t think I am back to “normal” again, but I have felt a lot better in the past couple of weeks. I am getting back into the gym and lifting/cross training twice a week and running about 10-15 miles a week as well. I even went on a few bike rides at the beginning of the month. And to the best of my ability, have been trying to eat better. Every little bit helps.
I have certainly battled my fair share of depression and the past weeks have been tough. As much as one can smile and nod, inside everything seems to be crushed. Running certainly helps keep me more even keeled, but it’s hard to get out the doors. I have nothing motivating me. Last year about this time I had probably twice the mileage but right now I am sitting at 423 miles for the year. I am going to be lucky to make it to 800 at this point.
Honestly and truly, this isn’t about the total number of miles or what runs I am getting in right now, it’s about getting back into the normal swing of life. Part of that is getting back to the blog. I am hoping that it also helps me interact again with people. So starting this week, I am back on the blog wagon and getting out 2 posts a week. I’ll have a few race recaps right off the bat, but am working on some other stuff as well. Crazy to believe, but last week the blog turned 4! It’s taken it’s own path over the last 4 years, but I am so thankful for all of the people I have met through the blog or have connected with. Here’s to more years with the blog and for me to kick depression in it’s ass.